Darla
He calls himself Log or something. I didn't really pay much attention. I did all of the experiments myself. He mostly just checked the settings on his beeper. Whenever I asked him a question about what we were supposed to be doing, he sort of flipped his head up so that his hair would move and flared his nostrils, like Bobby Wheeler from Taxi. I'll be really surprised if he graduates.

Stick
She was kind of hot, but like not wicked hot or anything like I'm used to. I know her brother, and he told me she goes for older men a lot. I can't handle that kind of trip right now. I'm not your daddy. Know what I mean? At any rate, I'd get with her if she wanted to just so long as she did not interfere with the kind of lifestyle that THE STICK is used to.  Soon as I get my ride and diploma I'm gonesville, Buwah.

Sonya
It took Jasper a while to understand that I was a lesbian, and he did some things that were inadvertently hurtful. One time he picked up a piece of litmus paper and licked it, then didn't understand why I had to get out of the lab, go home and file a lawsuit against Mr. Rawblanch (the science teacher.) It's amazing to me how ignorant people can be.  Litmus paper has been banned from the school and
they're reevaluating the curriculum. I hope Jasper's learned a few lessons about how people should be treated.

Jasper
If I've learned anything this year it's that Sonya is a lesbian and that science is a an oppressive and intolerant discipline best left to people in less civilized countries. I have chosen to better serve the world by forming an emo band and cultivating a killer sense of style.

Jamie
Debbie would say things like "Oh my God I forgot my cotton balls" then put a hand on her hip and make a "tsk" sound. Then she'd ask me if I had any cotton balls and I'd be like "What the hell are you talking about?" Then she'd look at that Jasper guy and shake her head, as if he was keen to her thing about the cotton balls and they were in some secret cotton ball club that I could never understand.
I can't wait to go to college where this sort of thing doesn't happen. It doesn't, right?

Debbie
Our table was right next to Jasper and Sonya's. I'm going out with Jasper now. He's got a killer sense of style. As for my lab partner. She was the most annoying Plain Jane ragamuffin I've ever met. It's 2002 for God's sake. Grunge is over, Sweetheart.
My parting thoughts to Jamie are that she can suck it! 

Joseph
I believe that our relationship would have improved exponentially if he just stopped wearing that damned bow-tie. He also talked all the damn time. One day, Mr. Rawblanch told us to pipe down , then Tyler started talking again. So Rawblanch came over and looked at me then looked at Tyler in his stupid bow-tie, and sent ME to the principal's office. And I aint said a word in class all year! 'Cept to tell Tyler to shove his bow tie up his too much talkin' ass.

Tyler
Joseph was a nice guy. It's a shame he had such an anger management problem. I didn't feel one hundred percent safe after he threatened me with violence.  It's very important that I attend King's College next year and I can't afford to be bullied by someone with an irrational distaste for the fashioning of a proper tie.
Also, Staind rules!

Cindy
Randy was a great lab partner. It's a shame what happened to his face. My father is a plastic surgeon (note cute button nose) and he assured me that he could give Randy, a facial expression conveying at the very worst,  mild disappointment. We're probably going to get married.
My highlights for the year I guess were: making out with Sonya, doing jello shots with Debbie and getting strung out on formaldehyde with that Stick guy.

Randy
Cindy was responsible for accidentally spraying acid everywhere, searing my face into this permanent uneasy grin. It happened just as I was asking her out on a date, and it will stand forever as a testament to our love. She keeps asking me if we will get married some day and I keep saying yes, but she doesn't believe me...you know….because of...the facial expression….

Brad
All right, I really like want to be a chemical engineer, so this is all very important to me. I can't believe I didn't phase out of this class. Meredith is cool, which is cool, but she's kind of um slow on the intake or something like she's got nothing going on as far as elemental understanding or whatever, and that's kind of er weird to me though I'm sure she doesn't know that cause she's slow on the intake or whatever shit like that.

Meredith
Brad is hot as hell. I'm not kidding. I've been driving past his house just to see if his car is in the driveway.

Richie
Jonas explained to me that girls who approached us were there to see him and that if I opened my mouth they would mock me for being an ugly and stupid man. He explained that he had a "grind core chin-strap" which made him irresistible to all women. I would go home and cry and dream that I would some day become the sort of punk rock ladies man that Jonas was. 

Jonas
Thank God Richie didn't learn to speak English until just now.